Reasoning

Sometimes life isn't fair. We all have those days. Yesterday, i think for me it really hit me how unfair Landon's life is. Yet he doesn't complain about it. He deals with it like it's no big deal at all.
My reason for this post, is yesterday the two older boys went to play on the big huge play area at Kennedy Space Center, and Landon was in his wheel chair, just begging to go in. A central line, a g-tube draining bag, and a J -tube feeding bag, oxygen, and the inability to walk, it is not possible for him to play. That is when it all hit me like a ton of bricks. My child is really disabled. He is unable to go play with his brothers ina public place. He cannot climb those stairs, he cannot play in the ball pit, he cannot slide down the rocket slide. IT is just NOT FAIR!!! Why can't he do those things? Why can't he be normal. And you know, at that very moment i felt like everyone around me was just staring at him like an alien in the space center. I found myself grabbing his chair and leaving the area. I knew it was just me, but it hurt me so much anyway.

I know i cannot do anything about it, but its still just stinks. I ache for Landon to be able to do normal things, thankfully though once we are at home he can do mostly normal things, and that really helps me put things into perspective. But when i hear people take the everyday things for granted it really makes me angry and i sure hate to be angry about things like that. I hope as he gets older i will find peace with all these things.